What does anybody visualise when the word ‘friend’ is thrown at them? Surely caring, sharing, fun and a shoulder to lean upon. Friendship is the one jewel which can never fade or lose its sheen with time. I had lost contact for over decades with a dear friend of mine, in the hustle bustle of my ‘career driven-married-with growing kids’ life. The friendship developed in a unique way even though our native language and lifestyle were different. I remember the lonely evenings of my early married life when the husband had long hours at work. She visited me once and smiled in her ingratiating manner and spoke a few words in hesitant English, which language became our medium of communication as neither I knew Konkani-her native tongue-nor she knew TuLu, my native language. Our friendship developed as I went on to take a liking to her two boisterous kids, and she seemed to like the very young, soft-spoken, mild natured girl that was me.
She would insist that I needed long walks, ‘as exercise is a must during pregnancy’, she would say, and make time to accompany me on some evenings. The other evenings when she was busy, being a homemaker with two demanding young kids, I would spend time at her house observing her admonishing her kids, and then all of a sudden enveloping them in a warm hug. The special part was that our houses shared a common door, which she always kept unlatched from her side and I would let myself in after a light knock whenever I felt lonely during the day until my husband returned from work. As soon as I had a throw-up after dinner, she would come running with a glass of lime juice, as if she was there to serve me! I would in turn at times help her at some of her long drawn snack preparations. She would grin and express that the snacks would vanish in no time thanks to her ravenous husband and growing kids. It was with amazement I saw her prepare the spiked sugary snack out of gingelly, specially made for Sankranthi. I had always purchased them at shops.
Alas the good times did not last, and when I returned from my maternal home as a young mother it was to a different house and neighbourhood, as my husband had shifted over. Naturally our meetings became minimal, each one busy with kids, and finally when the husband got transferred to another town, our contact gradually withered away.
Nearly twenty years later, she took the trouble to locate us through a common friend and sent an invite to her daughter’s wedding, which we did attend travelling all the way to her coastal town, Goa. Our joy was immense on seeing each other after decades.
There was no email, Facebook or WhatsApp to keep us in touch but our friendship sustained because of its sheer depth and limpidity. But it is seen, at times, that virtual friendship has become the order of modern times, with liking posts on Facebook or pings on WhatsApp constituting friendship. Phone calls seem to have also taken a back seat with leaving voice messages on phone becoming the norm rather than the exception.
