I have worked in the metropolis of Bombay and at many places of golden Goa; walking down memory lanes, a misty consciousness of something forgotten makes its way on my mental screen about MILs and DILs, told to me by my colleagues, friends and others with whom I brushed my shoulders at different places. So I will try my best to set it in brief before my gentle readers.
They say MIL and DIL are immensely jealous of each other. They fight over issues of ‘Power in the house’; and ‘Possession of one person’ … humble husband; silent son. MIL can’t see her son becoming the helper or servant of a woman other than her. DIL wants to puppet her husband who, according to her, also happens to be the Simple Simon, and a fool of MIL. So, MIL and DIL create problems and have meaningless quarrel and rock the house with ‘words like swords’.
So, relationship between the two gets strained and DILs think it a nuisance to live with their MIL. It seems once a DIL whispered her plan to her friend to leave her husband’s roof and stay in a flat or to go to her parents’ home –her comfort zone.
After a brief chat, her counselling friend said, “Daily discipline is a must to achieve lasting success in life. Look at nature. It is always working in a disciplined manner. Sunrise and sunset, waning and waxing of the moon, the four seasons, rise and ebb of tidal waves, sprouting and growth of vegetation and the incessant gush of spring waters round the clock.”
After a pause, she continued; “Hatred is never ended by hatred, but by love. So, before you execute you plan, try this once: “Go to your ‘puja’ room everyday and in faint whispering voice, within the earshot of your MIL, say: O Lord I am a good person. I love my MIL. Make my MIL to love me as much as I love her.” Again after a silence she continued: “But, as words are useless without deeds to prove the point, you have to shower abundant love in behaviour on ‘MIL’ for a period of 3 months and then see the effect.” DIL’s ideas were held back by friend’s advice.
DIL reflected on the saying: ‘If something is worth doing; it is worth doing it well’. Therefore, she executed her friend’s advice. When ‘MIL’ heard the whispering prayer of ‘DIL’ every day, a mysterious silence engaged her in an inner dialogue. A sudden change came over her spirit seeing that ‘DIL’ had transformed into a picture of love. ‘DIL’ also was not a little surprised at ‘MIL’s altered attitude who had cut the apron strings to her son and had started treating her as her own daughter.
Her friend explained: “Kindness is the language that even the deaf can hear, the blind can see and an ordinary woman is made to feel extra-ordinary! Love can resurrect anyone from the worst of situations. Any human relationship can prosper with patience and forgiving nature.
Yes, tolerant DIL makes a glad MIL but a hot-headed DIL is the heaviness of her MIL.
