Our relationship status today is determined by what we can bring to the table or rather our ability to offer off ourselves alone. We are unlike the packaged goods that come with an informed warning that state the contents as fragile and should be handled with care. Human co-habitation since eons was made possible through love, intimacy and propagation of mandatory norms that determined the hierarchies in society while mutual bonds were forged out of obligation or human desires.
Our nascent growth ushered with the fulfillment of the physiological prerequisites in the Hierarchy of Needs as mentioned by Abraham Pavlov for food,clothing, shelter which develops over time. This is nurtured through caregivers that espouse our well-being .As we transcend the next stage of the need for safety, we yearn for security through social systems that vouch our protection. We work hard enough through our prime years seeking wherewithal for the benefit of posterity while simultaneously meeting our daily expenses when infact it’s just a by-product that meets our needs.But in the bargain of its accumulation we are caught up in the frenzy of making ends meet.Money as a facilitator is good by as a mammon it can cause widespread disparity like an epidemic.
Which brings me to the third need for love and belongingness which is met through intimacy and passion which is not always the case. Take for example arranged marriages and love marriages. In an arranged setting, both establishments look primarily for stability, economic status and lastly passion. In many such cases passion is just a flicker of hope which can extinguish if not tended to in the nick of time. Love marriages too easily succumb to the drudgery when either partners are ill-equipped to be tolerant in order to accommodate the inadequacies of another. The rigorous humdrum of life can make one to pry outside the legalised bonds due to sundry variants. The consequence could lead to a split incase of promiscuity. But is this the only limiting factor that qualifies as a pitfall for broken relations? We are so driven by the pain and pleasure principle.
An extreme longing for pleasure leads to excruciating pain in its absence. We want an element of novelty as well as predictability in our relations today. We want to be there for someone but not necessarily be with them. We want to be separated rather than differentiated. We say that live-in relationships today can threaten the sanctity of our relations triggering moral decadence. People feel crippled due to honesty. We disguise ourselves using filters of sorts.
A reality check would confirm our need for freedom or rather escapism from the reality that extracts us to the core.
