Life often makes no sense to our humanity. That truly is where faith, trust, and love comes in. It reminds us of the importance of life and how we live it – what we do while we’re here, the relationships we build and the lives we touch along the way. I agree that love is a major factor in all of these, as well as our ability to accept it from and share it with others. Basically, the purpose of life is a life of purpose.
Unfortunately though, that’s not who we are. We have our issues, anger
still flares within us, self-doubt and fear cripple us, and self-indulgence snares us. So what do we do? We try to be good, to be compassionate and to not be angry and so on. There are times when we fall into a trap.
A huge crack opens up between who we are and who we try to be. When we walk into the shoes of who we want to be, everything seems heavy, difficult and somehow wrong. The attempted kindness does not emerge as kindness for it is tinged with artificiality and a desperate self-consciousness. The victim of our kindness, senses it right away, and shy off, outraged at being humiliated to.
One is left with the stunned feeling one gets when one has pulled the trigger of a gun by mistake. How did the explosion happen when our intentions were so good? Unfortunately, we were only trying.
And although we try our very best, our real feelings leak out all the more powerfully for being kept suppressed. The more we fear we will be unkind and the more we try to be kind, the more restless and reactive we will be.
Therefore, the more we try, the less we actually do what we want to. Once I heard a preacher who gave the example of the familiar experience of trying to recall a name.
“The more we furrow our brow and grip our fists, the less the chances of the name revealing itself. The moment we cease to try, the name surfaces. Why is that so, then? Because we are relaxed. When we are relaxed, the awesome powers of the subconscious mind is at our disposal. When we try it closes up like a tight fist.” I found his example true as it is a lesson teaching us that this is the futility of being in haste in trying.
Hence, each time we try to be calm, or happy, it helps to remember that we actually are at peace. We could use the Christian equivalent of this as well. The theology is that we are sinless because when Christ died, he washed away our sins. Infact, it makes us enter the zone of already being sinless. Our Heavenly Father understands our fear and doubt.
He is always there to encourage our hearts and help us understand that He’s sufficient for all of our needs. When we accept this as an absolute truth in our lives, worrying should automatically stop. Thus each time doubts and fears assailed me, I say, I already am that, and the belief in me says I really am that!
