Time To Be Truly Responsible
Why not take responsibility for the mess around us, urges RUI DA GAMA
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When we do not take responsibility, the next thing that we do is, get into neutral mode or compromising attitude and then into a blame game. Respect is due, to all those who have learnt to take responsibility for their lives and also failed to take responsibility for the public mess around us today. We do not expect anyone to be perfect by taking the responsibility for everything. I, Me, Myself and My Family is one attitude that the vast majority of our population feels responsible for. Our failure to take responsibility makes us go into the denial mode or keep silent, which is another form of denial. But there are a few, who learn from the failures and make a milestone to success. Fear and insecurity is one big cause for us not taking responsibility. Most of the time, it is not ‘I’, but ‘You’ or ‘They’ who are responsible. Denial is a hidden form of lying. And lying is the most irresponsible way of living. It reflects badly on our character. For instance, before the Court of Justice, we are told to deny first, in order to make the opposite party prove the accusation. However, taking responsibility for the accusation if it is true, does not make the accused Guilty. The opposite party still has to prove the accused guilty. And the Judgement would be based on evidence and merits of the case. But fear takes over and we are told not to take the risk but deny it and lie before the Court of Justice. Hence, there is more denial and lying than acceptance.
In today’s world, The word “ Honesty “ has lost its meaning. Unfortunately in the so- called ‘modern times’ we have less number of people who accept responsibility, speak the truth and shame the devil. Living like hypocrites is what we enjoy doing, least realizing that we get what we deserve. It is either ‘you’, ‘he’, ‘she’, or ‘they’ who are to be blamed. Most of the time we put up false pretences and fake it. Those who fake it, will never make it.
Coming back to ‘I’, ‘Me’, ‘Myself’ and ‘My Family’, most of us have done so well, that Greed has entered our lives and taken us over. And the more material things we have, the more we want and there is no end to it. The gap between the materially rich and the materially poor is widening. And there is so much unrest or restlessness within us . It is nothing but outer manifestation of our inner struggles which leads to our unhappiness and dying in despair. We are already paying this price although many might have not realized it, due to their busy preoccupation in satisfying their human wants. We have all come empty handed and in the same way we will go; nothing shall we will take with us. On the contrary, it is someone else who will benefit from what we leave behind, and even the thieves will have an eye on it and try robbing it. Man-made self destruction is taking the majority of us into loneliness and isolation. What is the use of wearing a mask- of putting on a façade and smiling on the outside when we are in reality living with fear, worry, anxiety, guilt, sorrow, anger and crying inside.
Some people are good looking, dress well, have the best of cars, bungalows and a grand lifestyle; but they do not have a smile on their face and no joy in their lives. We are blindly following science and technology, wanting comfort and shortcuts in life. But it will cut short our life, our families, and create an unstable society.
Why blame our Governments? We get what we have voted for. If the one who speaks the truth stands for election, very few voters will vote for him. The one who speaks the truth will not use money or muscle power, neither will he use any corrupt means to get elected. Why blame the teachers, when majority of us adults have been such bad students in moral science, with our day- to- day- fleshy /greedy behaviour, not wanting to speak or defend the one speaking the truth . Why blame our children and youth, when everything good or bad begins with us as parents, teachers and adults? Why blame our men and women for dressing indecently when we silently enjoy watching each other dressed in this way, in the name of fashion? Why blame environment degradation and pollution, when we want to enjoy the material luxuries of modern day life. Why blame neighbours and friends, when we only think of our own convenience and want to misuse them? Why blame the religious and spiritual, when we want to sin and serve the evil one? Alternatively, let us take responsibility by asking what can we do for others, for the poor, for the morally and spiritually bankrupt, making certain that we never compromise on the truth.
The solution is to take full responsibility of what is happening around us. Like saying: God First, Another Man Next and Me Last. In India, everything begins with God and Gods. So why do we fail to see God in the heart of another man? It is time we know who we are, why we are here, from where are we and where we will go, if not to the place we come from. There is nothing which is ours, but time. And time will tell, although it might be late for some. Many will say, it is next to impossible, but it is possible. It has to begin with ‘Me’. I cannot say ‘You’, ‘He’, ‘She’ or ‘They’. I have to take my share of responsibility for the mess around us, and speak the truth. It is a small beginning, and everything and everything begins from small things. If we speak the truth, many others will follow us. Do not fear the consequence of speaking the truth. Suffering for the good is no suffering. If we do not change by suffering, suffering will change us. Without pain, there is no gain. Many believe Jesus Christ took responsibility alone for the salvation of Mankind. Mahatma Gandhi took responsibility for India and led the nation to freedom from colonial rule. Nelson Mandela was jailed for 27 long years but was responsible for freeing South Africa from racism. They spoke the truth, lived for the truth, died to self and the truth set them free. They still live on with or without their dead photograph/statues hanging on the walls and in the centre of streets. We have to teach and educate a new generation of selfless people, for their own happiness, the welfare of our society and the prosperity of our nation. Let us as Indians, take responsibility, demand accountability and command the respect of our people.
(The writer is the Convenor of Asha Family Responsibilities & Rights Association – Mapusa)
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My Ivory Tower Garden
By Auriel Ribeiro Sa
It is the monsoon season. The sowing and planting bug has bitten me too. Like the farmer who sows seed in hope of a fruitful harvest, I have planted my favourite little herbs and shrubs, not in a vast field, but in tiny little pots in the space beyond my box window.
I feel the same anxiety that the farmer feels as I run every morning to see if the saplings have shot up from the brown mud. Ah! At last! A chilly sapling peeps out at me from its bed. I touch the tender leaves gently, marvelling at their beguiling green colour and the delicate greenish-white, almost opaque, stem. In my excitement to reap a rich harvest, I had sown too many seeds, I fear, as I see many more shoot up the next day.
The orange-blossomed ‘abolim’ shrub has survived its transition from a neighbour’s garden to my cosy little pot. I caress it as I sing to express my love for this flowering plant that brings back childhood memories. Being a city girl, I longed for the annual holidays to Goa, when my cousins and I would collect the flowers from a neighbour’s garden and string abolim garlands. We would then run to the cross nearby and offer them up along with a fervent prayer.
A dying lemon grass plant has found a home in my window garden. Its aromatic flavour spices my tea and refreshes my soul. As does the tulsi shrub that was near-death in the dried-up bed of my Society garden. To me, the tulsi is a medicinal herb and an air purifier.
I have sown a handful of coriander seeds in a pot, but I do not see any life there yet. I hope and peep. The fragrant mogra plant in my building complex garden blossomed recently. I had cut off a budding branch of this lovely shrub last week and potted it. I have been plucking a few of its flowers for my altar. Some, I place at Mama Mary’s feet as she blesses my work. I check on it and sigh with relief that it hasn’t withered away and died yet.
The ‘money plant’ occupies a quiet shady place in the corner of my little garden. As it grows and twines around the grill on my window, it will frame my garden with a natural arch. Some say growing a money plant brings wealth; for me it is enough that it gifts me ample oxygen and adds beauty to my window garden.
My son has inspired me ; he learnt the skill of potting a plant at summer camp which has borne fruit for me. “Mama, I want to plant a sapling,” he said one day. So we potted our first, a curry leaf sapling. I, who had no time for little pleasures before, found a hobby that gives me a few minutes of happiness.
The friends in my ivory tower garden are good friends – they always teach me something new – like hope, patience, joy, disappointment, abundant life. When I talk to them, they listen. When I sing to them, they dance. They give me, not just material benefits, but spiritual gifts as well.
I have prepared the compost for ‘friends’ yet to come and collected discarded pots so they can stay with me for a long time. I don’t know as yet which ones they will be; I pick them not for their usefulness or beauty but for my happiness, you see.
Plants need love and quality time just like we do. Plants too have feelings. They feel delighted when they hear soft soothing sounds like that of a violin, they become agitated when they hear various kinds of loud unmelodious sounds.
The friends in my window garden have very little space to grow in the concrete jungle I call my home. But I am certain they feel at home with me because I do love them with all my heart.
