Counseling Psychology informs us that our emotions stem mainly from our thought process, beliefs, evaluations, interpretations and response to life situations. If these cognitive aspects are appropriate or realistic, the resultant emotion will be appropriate or realistic. If they are inappropriate or unrealistic, the resultant emotion will be inappropriate or unrealistic and injurious to our health and wellbeing.
In this article we focus on anxiety/worry, that stem mainly from inappropriate thought process, unrealistic response to life situations and cause stress in us.
An example: A family of 3 children 2 girls and a boy. The mother worries when any of her children falls sick and the worry continues till the sick child is completely recovered. Here, the cause of worry for the mother may appear to be the sickness of her child. In reality, can the sickness be the cause? Not really. Because, there are mothers who handle such situations with confidence and courage and refuse to indulge in ‘luxury’ called worry. Most of those who worry prefer to reveal it on their face may be unintentionally and may consider it as an expression of their love & care for the sick son/daughter. This could be a situation similar to where the peace with a person is the peace of the graveyard (or peace of the world) and not the peace from God. When the other 2 children notice their mother is worried, they feel sadder and more insecure. Here, does not the mother indirectly harm these two children and herself? So, what is required for the mother is not anxiety or worry but concern for the wellbeing of her sick child, for her other two children and for herself.
The self-injurious thoughts/thought process in the mother needs to be substituted with the following realistic thoughts – A self-talk/auto suggestion is:
1. “Medical Science informs me that anxiety, stress, is a basic cause for much illness, including cancer. If I get sick, my attention and care for the sick child and for our other two children and myself is adversely affected and this can be injurious to their well-being and mine. Also, I will have less time and energy to take care of my health and for my personal needs. My well-being is very important for the wellbeing of our children. Therefore, I refuse to entertain any unrealistic thoughts. I shall replace them with thoughts as mentioned above and with other appropriate thoughts.” Other Therapies are available.
2. Counselling : Spiritual ‘Jesus has said, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me.” (Jn. 14:1) “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you …… Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid”. (Jn. 14 : 27–28). Jesus has also asked us not to worry. (Mt. 6 : 25 to 33). So, If I violate any of his above given teachings or do not put into practice all of them, it means that I do not have total faith in Jesus and in the Holy Trinity.
If a person totally abides in God, will not that person experience peace and joy in all situations? Therefore, St. Paul says, “Give thanks to the Lord in all circumstances.”
