Flight of the Phoenix
Charlane Pereira
It is mostly observed in the case of young adults who leave their homes in search of greener pastures when they complete the age of 18. This trend mostly noted in foreign cultures, is yet to start off its way in India. Once they cross the age of 18, living with their parents is looked down by societal norms. So, they tend to find a place to rent, and hunt for some kind of job to support themselves financially and visit their parents occasionally. The retired old people are found to live a more peaceful existence with their brood having flown the nest. Some might experience what is known as the ‘empty nest syndrome.’
In Goa, young adult males may choose to make separate arrangements from their home especially when their line of duty involves long distance travel or odd hours of working schedules involving night shifts. Weekends are usually spent in the warmth of their huge roost relishing mom’s home-made chicken soup and eating ‘ale bele’ while sipping evening tea.
Parents are reluctant to send their young adult females to work in remote regions or those which involve working beyond the official duty hours, safety or security of their kin being the prime reason. With the rapidly increasing rate of crime in the state, parents don’t mind if their adult girls don’t work for the petty sum of five grand they would earn, if they did work.
Most adult children stay with their parents until they are settled in life. Daughters are married off and usually reside at their husband’s home unless the son-in-law happens to be a ‘ghor zavoi.’ Most Goan men prefer living in their own homes unless they happen to be disowned of their property rights by other siblings, or have some financial restraints, or are too happy to settle down at their wives’ homes instead of laying a foundation for a new house. Guess that costs money too. The ‘ghor zavoi’ is happy at the thought of ready quarters after marriage and takes it a bit sossegado to build that dream house he always dreamt of living in.
Nowadays, adult children and parents give their mutual consent to living in separate adjoined homes or apartments close-by. No ‘janjhat’ of the mother-in-law interfering with the daughter-in-law’s affairs. The separate space seems to work wonders. No interference, less of family fights….
Guess, the Phoenix has to fly away sometime or the other at a certain point in life….
