While man is preparing to set up colonies on the Moon, there are still thousands of villages where the influence of outdated rituals reign supreme. When someone initiates to change these rituals through their own actions in this 21st Century, they become talk of the town, of the media and the social media for a few days until it all goes back to a square one. Sometimes such incidents are used by politicians for their own mileage but this sapling of reform dies down even before taking a strong root. One of the reasons is because such reforms lack expected social support. Majority of the leaders will not usually come forward to stop unfair practices which have been going on for decades and even centuries and even if someone does, then they are not backed by people. Most of the readers will be able to recall the incident that happened in Goa in January which shattered the patriarchal structure.
Dr Gautami Naik’s ‘Kanyadan’ ritual was done by her widowed mother Usha Naik whose husband had passed away back in 2021. However, Dr Gautami stood firm on her decision that her kanyadan will be done either by her mother alone or nobody. Although this may seem like a simple change on the surface, it aimed at uprooting centuries-old Hindu rituals and especially the widow practice. Unfortunately, this was not followed up by rest of the people. A small village of
Herwad in Kolhapur district resolved to ban the widow practice where widows are excluded from most social gatherings.
Maharashtra government by citing the example of this village issued government resolutions and asked other village panchayats also to take similar initiatives. Politicians too need to have a reformative outlook for changes to happen faster. In fact, there are certain rules and regulations which require rethinking in today’s age especially when it comes to laws regarding women. A couple of weeks ago, the Ministry of Housing and Urban Affairs issued a notification that if a divorced woman wishes to change her maiden surname from her in-laws’ to her father’s, then she would require to obtain a NOC from her husband.
Calling this notification as a violation of her right to freedom, one Divya Modi-Tongya knocked at the doors of Delhi High Court while being in the middle of her divorce proceedings. The Court has asked the Centre to respond to the petition when ideally, they should have interfered and scrapped this regressive decision made by the Union ministry. A Court asking Government’s opinion instead of the petitioner’s also shows how deep-rooted patriarchy is. Although it is a universally common practice for women to change her surname after marriage, it is also a practice which effectively erases the identity of the women. Fortunately, women of today have started to question the practice and opt to continue using their surname from father’s side while some have even started to use their mother’s name as middle name. Today’s woman is not a slave to her husband nor her husband is her owner. Most of the women earn themselves and in fact some are the only bread winners in their family. For what exactly should she change her name? Indeed, our Constitution does allow anyone to change their name if they wish to but it requires valid reason. When an individual has the right to change or maintain their name as per their personal desire, asking a woman to get her to-be-divorced husband’s NOC highlights the damage that patriarchy has done to this country. There are many such small rituals prevalent in the society which should be banned by law.
These rituals harm mostly women. Those who are capable of raising their voices do so, but it is not possible for every woman due to their various circumstances. Majority of Muslim women welcomed the move of scrapping Triple Talak but such reforms need to be happen at wider scale. And for that, the society needs to come forward as one.
