Attachment means, hanging on to our desires, past impressions that force us to pursue happiness and avoid sufferings. It is a feeling that makes us say to ourselves –“Without this or that, I will not be happy.” Such attachment or wrong thinking locks our mind into negative attachment and makes us suffer, if our desires are not fulfilled.
Attachment may be to material things, such as the desire to possess an object, fulfilment of an idea and many such things. It is said that its origin may be due to timidity, lacking in self-sufficiency, need to feel appreciated by friends and neighbours and so on.
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Attachment to material things may be for things such as a fancy house or luxury car, money; thinking that it lifts one’s image, and gives a feeling of superiority.
Attachment to money is to get things that we need such as food, shelter and clothing, by which a person’s worth attracts number of friends. It is said, ‘When money talks, everything walks,’ at least in India. Pride over things, should not throw us off from ground reality. Smaller the mind the greater the pride, ‘Which goes on horseback and comes back on foot.’
But, many say, there should not be any attachment to money, because money is not everything. It cannot buy peace of mind. If it did so, most millionaires would buy peace and be happy. Money can buy medicines, but good health and peace comes from God.
There is also attachment to human beings. It creates a problem. If one person is attached to a person and the other person does not respond. The person who is attached gets angry and upset. Attachment to friends is as long as one has wealth. But the moment companions and even relatives find out that one has lost one’s wealth, then, they vanish into thin air. There are friends who are opportunists, who believe that they know everything; which often, results in evil deeds. They are not friends, as they proclaim to be, but are evil men who by their flattery. Sweet talk tends to mislead you and eat into your wealth.
Attachments of parents towards children cannot be given up. But if should not be in excess, as it leads to ‘Clinging attachment’ — a problem of dependence; turning into burden for both — parents and children. Therefore, such attachment should be given up. Children should be allowed to grow independently with detachment for the sake of improvement; even a hen pecks its chicks to fly away when they show sign of dependence.
We know that if attachment is uncontrollable, it becomes a pathological attachment. Then danger creeps in like a hidden devil waiting to strike. There is nothing wrong in attachment but it should not turn into an obsession. If detachment is not shown towards children they fall short of reason or judgment and become like a standing dish, unchangeable, decaying and worsening. There is a time for attachment and a time for detachment.
Attachment is the root cause of all suffering. It is an obstacle to our spiritual growth. With detachment the quality of life is better. There is joy in detachment. Therefore, we should give up attachment. Someone said, ‘A person who practices detachment will take failure in his stride and when faced with success, he will not make a song and dance of it.’ One must have balance and rational detachment from objects and people. One should surrender the results to God.
