I recently read a cracker of an article by Albertina Almeida, a well-known lawyer and human rights activist titled #WeGoaWomenToo! It raised the same recurrent issues about discrimination and how nothing has changed to improve safety, equality and gender biases for women in Goa. The statistics say it all. And most women choose to remain silent on the challenges they face. Yes, so what, I can hear you murmuring, it’s the same old rant, and men too face some of these challenges. Yes perhaps. And while the world shouts out #metoo with many silent voices joining in, what inspires me the most is how some fantastic individuals are turning the tide, helping others and in particular women/ girls, rise!
I was recently invited by Goa’s well-know youth icon and musician Varun Carvalho to join in his initiative ‘Mukhar Chol Chedva’, Go forward, girl! As a pre-event to celebrate International Women’s Day at Carmel College, Nuvem. We had been communicating over the last couple of months. I really liked all the super ideas he had already launched. His method was simple. He used music and his own experience to empower children, girls and youth. He had founded ‘Rise Nation Army’ to use music to help children to positively influence them, to turn the tide from within, to become a positive force in society. I loved it! Our mutual interests in working to empower children led us to finally meet to chalk out a long term plan to collaborate, to take the initiative forward.
Varun inspired young girls by sharing his own weaknesses and how he overcame his habit of stammering by pursuing his passion for music and became a successful musician. And he is such a walking comedian in person, he speaks so comfortably about all his challenges, his shortcomings. He makes fun of them. And that makes it so easy to connect to our own weaknesses, shortcomings, etc. and the possibility to see how easy it can be to overcome all of these.
I shared my own journey of turning the tide from within!
We have all heard the statement repeated time and again, that behind every successful man, is a woman. I thought about that for some time and felt that I wanted to re-phrase that statement to one that read like this. That along with every successful person is another supportive, committed, successful, tolerant and encouraging person. I am just an ordinary person. Yes there are all those accolades- an award winning architect, an environmentalist, an educator, a super mom, super woman too! But really, who am I? I am nothing and I love that nothingness. The ordinariness. And behind this are a lot of fantastic persons, to be more precise more men than women. Let me elaborate. There’s Papa who I miss today, who sparked my passion for nature and wildlife. There’s Ramesh Bandekar who initiated me into design and build architecture and a spirit of collaboration. There’s Rajendra Kerkar who rekindled in me a passion for my land, forest and community. There’s Bittu Sahgal, who gave wings to my enthusiasm for wildlife and writing. There’s Professor Chaaya who allowed me to soar and experiment with mentoring and teaching students and egged me on to reach for the sky. There’s Prof B V Doshi who acknowledged that while I was not a trained teacher, the outdoor learning methods was something I needed to share with educators across India. And right now I am surrounded by these gems like Varun, Vishal, Arnaldo and many more who constantly inspire and encourage my engagement with children and community. But the most influential man in my life has been not one but 2 amazing little men! My 12 year old Vikram and 7 year old Varun. Surprised? Yes I understand what you are thinking. While most women and men would think and believe that children are limiting to one’s freedom and parenthood ties one down, these 2 sparked my journey and tryst with all the work I do today. Motherhood and parenthood initiated me into my environmental work. When Vikram was born and he silently slept by my side, I rattled off on my laptop and in collaboration with my partner in all things eco-Arati Das, started an i-petition to save tigers and declare Mhadei as a tiger reserve. Who drafted the petition? Another gem of a person, Nirmal Kulkarni. This was followed with the Nirmalya Campaign to promote Ganesh Chaturti as an eco friendly festival. And who was by my side? I was expecting little Varun then, and Vikram accompanied me to all the locations to set up the Nirmalaya pots across the city along with the CCP on ground workers! Since then they have accompanied me and assisted me in all the campaigns, nature trails, workshops, travel assignments and community work that followed. Like traditional communities and tribal families. Where parents carried their children along in all that they did! Where children became a part of learning while growing.
This does not mean that the journey has been easy or will ever be. It has had its challenges, I have challenges every single day, every single hour and every single minute. But what makes a difference is that all these wonderful individuals and my cute little men have been walking with me in this beautiful journey. I never imagined that one day I would rise over the tide, rise from within, that I could possibly lead. Lead by example. That I would find myself at my happiest best! But it has worked! Those very challenges have made me shine through. Thank you my little men!
(Tallulah D’Silva is a practicing architect in Goa and has recently taught at the Goa College of Architecture as adjunct professor)
