Aman Verma
For most people, a lizard on the wall is something to shoo away, a butterfly flying nearby is harmless and peanut butter is simply food. But for someone with a phobia, these ordinary things can trigger a racing heart, sweating, trembling or an immediate urge to escape. What looks small or harmless to one person can feel impossible to ignore to another. Knowing the fear may not make sense does not necessarily make it easier to control. For Rohan Naik from Bastora, it is lizards. “I know it won’t bite me, it’s terrified of me, but I keep thinking it’ll crawl on me at night,” he admits.
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The fear can continue even when the lizard is nowhere near him. “If someone tells me there is a lizard in the bedroom, I can be sitting in the hall and still feel uncomfortable. My mind keeps thinking about where it is and where it could go. I know logically that it is not some dangerous animal, but in my head I start imagining all the things that could happen.” Sometimes, even being told that a lizard is in another part of the house is enough to make him avoid that area. For Melissa D’Souza, the trigger is butterflies. Her fear is known as lepidopterophobia. “Butterflies make me extremely uncomfortable. It is the way they suddenly fly towards you. You don’t know where they are going to land or what direction they will take,” she explains. “People think butterflies are beautiful, but when one comes close to me, I don’t see the beauty. I just want it to go away”.
Melissa remembers feeling it as a child and describes the physical reaction as immediate. “Even now, if one suddenly flies close to my face, my whole body reacts before I can stop myself.” During therapy, she says, she began exploring feelings beyond the butterfly itself, including experiences of unpredictability while growing up. That does not mean every phobia has a childhood cause. But memories, experiences and learned associations can influence how the brain responds to something that is otherwise harmless. Occupational therapist Pallavi Bhat, who works in neurorehabilitation, explains that the key lies in the difference between an actual threat and the brain’s perception of one. “If I am about to push you off a cliff, then if you have a very heightened response, all those fears, sweating, sweaty palms, heart rate increase, all of this is justified because the stimulus is equally bigger,” she explains. With a phobia, however, the physical reaction can become much greater than the actual danger. “The size of that threat is not equal to the perception that you have of it.” That mismatch can explain why a harmless lizard or butterfly can produce such an intense physical response. The body’s autonomic nervous system can trigger sweating, a faster heart rate, trembling, screaming and an urge to escape. The reaction may begin before a person has time to consciously assess what is happening. The trigger does not always have to remain in sight either.
Someone who has watched a lizard disappear behind a cupboard may continue thinking about it long after it is out of view. Repeated experiences can make that reaction automatic. “If you have seen 500 cockroaches and in the first 10, you have screamed at seeing them, the remaining also, it will end up having the same response,” Pallavi notes. One way of managing that automatic reaction, she explains, is the ‘stop technique’, which creates a pause between the fearful thought and the immediate behavioural response. “When you see a fearful object, your body is going to throw an impulse at it,” Pallavi explains. “You have a thought, ‘Oh, there is a lizard there’ and immediately afterwards you still end up doing something which you normally don’t do.” The aim is not to force someone to confront their biggest fear or pretend the fear does not exist. Instead, the person can recognise the reaction, use self-talk and give themselves a moment before acting on the impulse. “When you understand neurologically how your body is responding to this threat, that is when you will start noticing how your body is responding,” Pallavi says. “And secondly, controlling how it is responding to it.” For Eufémia Rodrigues from Margão, the fear is heights.
Her love for history often takes her to historic buildings, churches and monuments, but reaching their upper levels can be difficult. “I climb them, but every step comes with a battle between my curiosity and my fear,” she explains. “The desire to experience these places, understand their stories and see them from a different perspective is often stronger than the fear that tells me to stay on the ground.” Her fear is commonly described as acrophobia. She continues despite the discomfort. “I tell myself that I have come all this way because I want to see the place. So I keep going. But that does not mean the fear disappears. It is still there with every step,” she acknowledges. Aaron Fernandes has Arachibutyrophobia, the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. “I don’t really have a problem with the taste of peanut butter. It is the thought of it sticking to the roof of my mouth that bothers me.” He knows the sensation is not dangerous, but the thought itself can trigger discomfort. “I know I can drink water, move it with my tongue and it will eventually come off. But when I think about it, that doesn’t make the feeling go away.” As a result, he often avoids peanut butter altogether. Psychiatrist Dr Akshada Amonkar explains that phobias can take many forms. She says the important distinction is between an ordinary dislike or fear and one that begins to interfere with everyday life. “A person may dislike driving, for instance, but that is different from being unable to drive to work because of overwhelming fear. Similarly, discomfort around insects does not necessarily mean someone has a phobia.
Fear causes panic, repeated avoidance or significant disruption to daily activities. However, it may need attention,” Dr Akshada explains. Treatment can help people manage these fears. Dr Akshada adds, “Phobias often respond well to therapy. Medication may sometimes be considered when anxiety becomes severe and significantly affects functioning. One approach is systematic desensitisation, in which exposure to the feared object or situation is introduced gradually and in a controlled manner. Virtual reality-based therapy can also allow people to experience simulated situations in a controlled setting.” The roots of some fears can also go back to childhood. Pallavi recalls that when she was younger, her mother once described a mysterious animal with shiny eyes and a moving tail to persuade her to sleep. She later realised the creature was simply a cat. The experience nevertheless contributed to her fear of sleeping in the dark when she was younger. Children can form strong associations from things adults may consider harmless.
The same can happen through observation. A child who repeatedly sees a parent scream at the sight of a cockroach may learn that cockroaches are something to fear, even without consciously deciding to copy the reaction. Fear is a natural response, but when it becomes overwhelming, it can begin to shape the way a person thinks, behaves and moves through everyday life. What may appear irrational from the outside can feel completely real in the moment, making it difficult to simply “get over” it. Understanding that fear, recognising when it begins to interfere with daily life and seeking appropriate support can be the first steps towards taking back some control.
